Remember that PSE&G customer service rep that I was whinging about back in August? The Atheist? Well, because of him, we were without electricity for a good month, and that's never a good thing. We didn't get to answer many prayers that month, no thanks to him.
Well, I got a really strange prayer request from this familiar voice one night, something about wanting some wild sex with his mistress, and something about "getting a stiffy". I tilted my head, looked down below, and well what do you know, IT WAS HIM! Well, as I always say, "Ask and ye shall receive!" He asked, and he certainly did receive. I struck him dead as his wife walked in the bedroom, so you can imagine the look on her face. Bwahahaha, I rule! Literally... NEXT!
You know what else I don't get? it's those hippie Pagan yanks that actually fancy themselves into believing we stole their religion from them. WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING?! I know I created the Dinosaurs millions of years before I was even a household name, more importantly before I was even thought of, but to accuse us of stealing your traditions is going a bit far, don't you think? Ok, so we DID steal your bloody YULE tree. Ha, "Yule"... Well, how about "Yule" find out whos' been in charge longer when you die, and "yule" be smited down to Hell with Satan!
I'm in a lovely mood tonight, so DON'T bother me with your shenanigans!
PS - That hooligan's standing in line to get into Heaven. Hahaha, like he'll ever get in. Maybe I should go walk over to him and show him my PSE&G bill to show him I wasn't joking, just to watch him shit a brick or two.